The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast — Jayla Rae

Welcome to The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast, where we focus on re-sparking your inner purpose using empowered action + personal growth tools.

I'm Jayla Rae Ardelean, your host and Late Career Army Milspouse. I joined this lifestyle later in life, and the learning curve was gigantic. Since the day I said yes to this relationship over 7 years ago, I've been collecting + curating personal growth tools to support YOU.

Scroll below to find series on deployment, what a Late Career Milspouse is, and the Enneagram!

Deployment Series Episode Feed Below

Scroll down for The Late Career Milspouse or Enneagram Milspouse series👇

[PODCAST] Blog Main Graphic Eps 1.png — Eps 1: T-Minus 3 Days Until Deployment

Only 3 days from deployment and I'm kind of a wreck. I talk though our couples trip to Austin, and the push-pull dynamic I've been experiencing in our remaining time together.

[PODCAST] Main Graphic Eps 2.png — Eps 2: One Week Down

This episode captures my first week of deployment, and that Week 1 Emergency that always seems to come up once they leave! Spoiler alert: I survived it, but only barely. Learn what I brought back with me from a hotel in New Mexico (the aliens did it!), how I'm feeling about being alone, and what I'm looking forward to.

[PODCAST] IG Graphic Eps 3.png — Eps 3: 2 Weeks Down and it Finally Hit Me

[PODCAST] IG Graphic Eps 4.png — Eps 4: Going to the Movies Alone

[PODCAST] IG Graphic Eps 5.png — Eps 5: 1 Month Down, 11 More To Go

In Week 4 of deployment I talk about not taking proper care of myself, and it all catching up to me. How isolating myself from others was doing more damage, and how I got myself out of the hole.

[PODCAST] Main Graphic Eps 6.png — Eps 6: How to Approach Traumatic Events During Deployment

In this episode I give an overview of what's been going on lately since my grandma passed away. I include some feedback I received on Instagram in preparation for this episode, and then we wrap up with one tip that I have--and there's only one because that's all I'm able to really give or provide at this time. I'm not a trauma-informed coach. I'm just a human going through a really hard time with a constellation of traumas compounding on one another.

[PODCAST] IG Graphic Eps 7.png — Eps 7 The Pit of Deployment: Month 3

Apparently Month 3 of deployment is referred to as "the pit", and for good reason. In this episode we talk about the worst comment I've received so far regarding deployment, and why it's important to even share it here [hint: mental health].

Eps 8 Health Struggles + Solutions during deployment

Join my conversation with certified wellness and life coach for military women, Ashleigh Magee!
We chat about experiencing deployment from both ends of the spectrum, setting health and wellness goals during deployment, and what piece of permission Ashleigh would like to extend to milspouses.

Eps 9 Changing Over the Course of deployment

In this episode I am joined by Trinity, and trust me - this conversation will change your outlook on the process of deployment and reintegration!
We chat about the process of changing over deployment (and why that's okay!) and what it means to be two parents in the service.

Eps 10 How to Set Homecoming Expectations

Join me and Rachel for a candid conversation in answering this question: Are homecomings everything I imagine them to be?
In this episode we dip into Rachel's long history as an Air Force Spouse, and with how many deployments she's been through--you are bound to find a nugget of wisdom! We discuss a few key takeaways she has when it comes to setting expectations around homecomings. You also get to hear what I'm anticipating for own homecoming, which is 7-8 months away!

BONUS! Eps 11 Promotion During Deployment

Bonus, unplanned episode that was recorded and released asap 🎉. Today my husband was promoted while overseas on deployment, and I just had to share. Then I branch off to talk about a shift you'll start to see from me online based on a realization I had.
Learn who said this statement that stuck with me: "I want to learn from the learners." ♥️

Eps 12 Milspouse Self-Advocacy During Deployment

How does self-advocacy come into play during deployment? Well get ready for an abundance of resources, tips, and honesty in my conversation with Holistic Wellness Practitioner, Manda Lynn!

Eps 13 Memory Keeping Strategies

Learn some helpful tools + strategies for organizing your memories during deployment - this includes photos and videos!

Eps 14 How to Handle Post-Holiday Blues During Deployment

Now that the holidays have passed, and we're a couple weeks into the New Year, those post-holiday blues may have found you. I have one tip for you in this episode, and I hope it helps! ❤️

Eps 15 How to Cope With Isolation During Deployment

If you're out there feeling the impact of isolation during deployment, I see you and I hope this story helps! I'm just a DM away.

Eps 16 How to Approach Deployment When Your Love Language is Quality Time

Y'all I know deployment is tough when your love language is quality time and it's the very thing you don't receive consistently throughout the experience! (This is my love language, too.) Hear stories, one tip, and the one thing I've avoided talking about on this podcast, but the bubble has now burst!

Eps 17 Why I Abandoned a Weekly Deployment Countdown

We've all heard it right? That a deployment countdown is what saves you, keeps things in perspective, and passes the time? ...Well around the third month of this year long deployment, I noticed that daily and weekly countdowns began to work against me. Sharing my POV in case it's useful to you!

Eps 18 What it’s Like to Mix PCS Season With Deployment

Kayla and I discuss what it's like to make the ultimate military life cocktail: 1 part PCS, 1 part deployment. Join us as we answer the question, "How do we even do this?" when the responsibility to move falls mostly on us as milspouses while our spouses are deployed.

Eps 19 Featured Episode! 🎉

Hear from my speaking coach, Sally Z, about how story can illuminate your core message inside your milspouse-owned biz.

Eps 20 How to Make the Most of R&R and our Vow Renewal Story

Preparing for a 3-week R&R (Rest & Recovery) during this deployment presented a few challenges, and I'm going to share it all with you! Plus, our vow renewal story in Vegas, because hello--that was a huge part of it all! ♥️

Eps 21 3 Days to Deployment Homecoming 🎉

Our 11 months have come to an end! Listen in as I capture all the rollercoaster of emotions leading up to homecoming.

Eps 22 Deployment Recap

Welcome to the Deployment Recap episode! ❤️
I began this podcast as a way to record my experience of a 12-month-long deployment, and along the way it turned into so much more!
In this episode you will hear clips from chosen episodes from the Deployment Series, including a reintegration update at the end.
Thank you for listening to the podcast for one whole year - we're celebrating its first anniversary together! 🎉

Eps 23 The Reintegration Episode

Our reintegration period isn't exactly over yet, but in this episode you'll hear how it started, and where are marriage is now.
Learn the 4 strategies we used to better our marriage after experiencing the low lows of military life!

This podcast—while a love letter from me to you—is not free to produce. If you’d like to see this podcast grow to its fullest potential, consider making a donation below:

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…Introducing the

Late Career Milspouse Series! 🎉

Join me for a fun + candid conversation with Lindsay! As Late Career Milspouses, hear us bond over how we have pivoted our careers AND marriages countless times! This is Episode #1 of a brand new series highlighting Late Career Milspouse stories + experiences ❤️

Hear this conversation with Samantha about what it means to shed our biases about the military, after having begun relationships with service members later in our lives. We bond over our challenged relationships with the military through the lens of punk rock, being millennials, and share our complicated thoughts about the Iraq War and the War in Afghanistan.

Are you ever curious to hear a female veteran's perspective after leaving the military? Join me and Jeanette for a no-holds-barred conversation on what it means to be a black woman inside and outside what she describes as the most "toxic" relationship she's ever had.

Get ready for the truth about what it means to have a strong identity before joining the military lifestyle! In this episode I talk with Jessica Wright, as she vulnerably shares her point of view with us.

Ever wonder how or why mental health advocates for military families get their start? Maybe you too see this in your future as a milspouse? Join me and Jenny Lynne Stroup of the award-winning Holding Down the Fort Podcast for a debrief on what it's like to assimilate into military culture (after spending much of your life on the outside), and how seeking mental health resources for yourself is the best way to see cracks in the system.

Get ready to discuss how and why Late Career Milspouses are nowhere near the default messaging for milspouses, and why we should care about this!
The future of this category of milspouses is in our hands, and my guest today shares her infinite wisdom on how to get resourceful.

Talking with Tonia felt like an inspiring pep talk on vulnerability, how to make career pivots, and relationship woes I didn't even know I needed! Please enjoy her spirit ♥️

This week I have the pleasure of speaking with the amazing interior designer and business owner, Brittany Zimmerman!
Brittany is the owner of Bleu Bee Designs - a boutique residential interior decorating company. Bleu Bee Designs offers in-person and virtual design services across the United States, making it perfect for the ever-changing Milspouse life!
Listen to Brittany’s episode to hear how she maintains her sunshiny disposition as a Milspouse.

Get ready to hear what what Late Career Milspouses are capable of!
2022 AFI Army Spouse of the Year®, Monica Basset entered military life in her 30's, and has never stopped building community wherever they've been stationed since! As an advocate for fighting military food insecurity, her passion is truly infectious. This conversation will educate you and inspire you all in one!

Life comes at you fast, but that’s ok! Creative Director and Business Owner Morgan Specht is ready for anything. When she first met her husband, they were both employees at their local Costco. Fast forward a few years later and they became new business owners, her husband re-enlists after 10 years, and she has to restructure her business to work from anywhere.

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BONUS EPISODE

We’re talking to Candus Griffin and Mary Monroe, the masterminds behind the Shine Sis podcast. These ladies do not shy away from the rough realities of life, including how hard it is to maintain a flourishing career as a milspouse. But, the silver lining is, it can be done. You just have to put in a little more work than usual.

Enneagram Milspouse Mentor Series Feed Below 🎉

I, your host Jayla Rae, have a new goal in life! From now on I am going to work on listening to my gut and activating my gut center. Which is gonna be hard because I am very much a heart person. So does that mean I’m going against my Enneagram type? Not exactly.

💁🏻‍♀️ Welcome to an episode that is the first of its kind!
Join a brave milspouse (and friend of mine), Manda Lynn McVey during a live Enneagram Typing Session!

Enneagram typing can be tricky for people in the military lifestyle. The frequent relocation, changes to plans, and being separated from your spouse can make you look like an Enneagram type you may not recognize. But that’s also not a bad thing, funnily enough. It’s a learning tool in and of itself!
This is why me and my guest, Kellie Artis, love the enneagram framework!

What is Instagram getting wrong about the Enneagram? Well in short, it's the DEPTH! Those frilly "what each type orders for coffee" posts are sometimes fun to play around with - but those pieces of content are not learning tools. In this episode we talk about how to discern which accounts are keeping this personality framework in integrity, and the (3) main components of the Enneagram to keep in mind.

Male Milspouse Series Feed Below 🎉

Welcome to the first episode of the Male Milspouse Series!
Chris is a girl dad and a leadership coach who finds himself navigating the female-dominated milspouse space.
Chris and I discuss his experience as a milspouse, why he loves being a girl dad to his daughter, and his passion for understanding code-switching in every environment.

Have you ever felt lonely and wanted to call your milspouse friends, but put down the phone because you were afraid they’d be too busy to talk? You want to keep in touch with your friends all around the world but you just don’t know how.
This is exactly the problem our guest, Mathew Shanks, is solving for us today.

If you’d like to apply to be a guest on this show, fill out the form here: jaylarae.com/guest