How to Set Homecoming Expectations With Rachel Carpenter
Join me and Rachel for a candid conversation in answering this question: Are homecomings everything I imagine them to be?
In this episode we dip into Rachel's long history as an Air Force Spouse, and with how many deployments she's been through--you are bound to find a nugget of wisdom! We discuss a few key takeaways she has when it comes to setting expectations around homecomings. You also get to hear what I'm anticipating for own homecoming, which is 7-8 months away!
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Rachel is the co-owner and editor of The Military Mom Collective. She has been an Air Force spouse for 18 years and is a mother of four children. They are currently on their 8th assignment and preparing for retirement in a few years. She holds a BA in English and a MA in Management. When not busy with work or her family, she enjoys reading as many books as possible and drinking all the coffee.
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In this episode we mention:
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
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Episode Transcription Below:
Jayla Rae Ardelean (00:02):
Hey there. Jayla Rae here. Welcome back to the Heart of a Milspouse Podcast. We are continuing our deployment series and I'm joined today by Rachel Carpenter. Rachel is the co-owner and editor of the military mom collected. She has been an air force spouse for 18 years and is the mother of four children. They are currently on their eighth assignment - eighth - and preparing for retirement in a few years, she holds a bachelor's in English and a master's in management and when not busy with work or her family, she enjoys reading as many books as possible and drinking all the coffee. Hey Rachel, I'm so glad you're here today.
Rachel Carpenter (00:40):
Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. I mean, anytime I can talk about military life coffee, all of it, you know, I'm there
Jayla Rae Ardelean (00:48):
Just all the things. Do you have coffee with you right now? If the answer is no, I'm going to be disappointed.
Rachel Carpenter (00:53):
I don't, but my husband and I, this is so great because we're 18 years into this. We're going to go on a date to the grocery store and get coffee on the way there. So, you know,
Jayla Rae Ardelean (01:04):
A date to the grocery store. Amazing. Okay. Well, I'd love to know a little bit more about you and what your orientation to military life is today. Aside from the grocery shopping through stuff and let me know how you're doing.
Rachel Carpenter (01:20):
Yeah. I'm so I'm doing pretty well. I always tell people I'm like, I'm doing okay because I feel like life is just up and down a lot lately. I have been with my husband, like you said for 18 years. He's been in the air force the entire time. We are on our eighth assignment. We are back in the Pacific Northwest, which is, we've been here before and I really hope we can stay here cause I love it here. I just, I love it here so much. We're lucky we got the chance to come back. So but yeah, I've done all the deployments, TDY's, years apart that you can think of. My husband sent four combat deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. He's done three solo year long tours in Korea, which those are great. And so I joke with everyone that retirement is going to be interesting because we'll be together all the time and that's never happened before.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (02:17):
That's when the real show begins. I asked, so in terms of the deployments that you've experienced you mentioned that they were combat deployments. Were these kind of like the typical 12 month long deployments or have some of these been shorter? I'd love to know the length of time that you've experienced, because I think that really affects the entire process and I wish that people talked about that more because a 12 months deployment is very different than a six or a nine month deployment. It doesn't, it doesn't mean that the spouse in the long deployment has it harder necessarily. It's just a different orientation orientation to time and it just kind of changes the process.
Rachel Carpenter (03:03):
Yeah. I mean a hundred percent. So I'm fortunate in a sense that my husband, since he's air force they tend to have shorter deployments. But he has a job where he works directly with the army. He calls an airstrikes for the army. So it's a very combat oriented job. They started out way back in like 2003, his first deployment. They were four to six month long deployments and then somewhere in the middle, they started getting a little bit longer. But the longest he ever did for a combat deployment was six months. We had a few circumstances where he was able to come home early do do things in the family, which is so nice. Like it's really nice that they do that. I've had so many friends where they do 12 and 18 months deployments and they're like, they're grateful that they get like a two week RNR and I'm like, so I never really complained because I was like six months. I can do that. That's fine.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (04:04):
Yeah. And I, oh, I love that. You said that too, because it's, oh, first of all, I can't imagine 18 months, I'm currently doing a 12 month one. And I think the reason I say that is because the the transition to being alone and being without your spouse, that length of time changes the longer the deployment is, or at least kind of the feedback that I've heard from other spouses. You know, if they're only gone for six months, it might only take you like six weeks to fully adjust. And then you're like, I've got the rest of this. Like, this'll go by quicker than any of us can imagine. And you know, it might slog by in the, in the middle or toward the end. But I feel like that adjustment period on the front end of a super long deployment is longer because the deployment itself is longer. So that's, that's at least what I am experiencing.
Rachel Carpenter (05:01):
I mean, so I mentioned he's done the solo tours to Korea. Only one of those was like voluntary. The other two. It was just like, you're going to go. And those are really hard too, because they're at least a year. And then normally at the end of that, we were moving somewhere else. So like he would come back, we'd be back for a couple like weeks, you know, and then we'd be moving somewhere else. And so that there was a whole other chaotic wrench into it. But I will say that the last one that he did was the hardest readjustment because 12 months is a long time and you kind of develop your own life and routine and things. And then we have kids that are a little bit older. My oldest is 17. And so I got really used to parenting by myself and I got used to how things were and then all of a sudden somebody else is coming in and they want some responsibility too. And I'm like, no, no, I can do this. I've got, so it was hard. I think it was hard on both of us, but this was the hardest adjustment for me. And I think that we don't talk about that a lot either. It's not just the getting used to living with someone else. It's like everything in life, all of a sudden, there's two of you again. And it's just a totally different ball game.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (06:15):
Yeah. And it almost feels like, oh, well, wouldn't you just be like grateful and ready for someone to come back and help and help share the load and share the burden so to speak. And it's not, it's not quite like that. Yes. I mean, then it's like, oh, I'm not the only one who has to handle emergencies. Like the day-to-day stuff, like you said, with the parenting, especially. And I haven't experienced that myself, but I can, I can 100% imagine that it would be so hard to then split those duties and responsibilities and disciplining. It comes up because the child also maybe expecting for mom or the spouse who is at home to be the disciplinary, because there was no one else around to be that. So yeah.
Rachel Carpenter (07:05):
And it, and it is, it's so many things and you're right. Like everybody does that, the weeks coming up, you're like, oh, thank goodness. Like someone else will be here. I'm not the only person in charge of this house. Whether you have like pets or kids, or even if it's just you. I mean, you're very excited. But then I think that one of the things that we talk about a lot within our mom, collective like team is homecoming. That whole myth of everything's beautiful. And it's great. That lasts about like five seconds. And it doesn't matter where you are in your life. It's just, homecoming is a lot more nitty gritty than just the big, you know, welcome home, huge parade and everything. And so we try to remind people of that where like, it looks really good. It's not quite like that.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (07:52):
It is the highlight reel, right? Like nobody wants that snapshot of hugging their service member at the end of the deployment and everybody who is listening, I will also want to get that snapshot. I will want it for me, for us. I won't want it to present the highlight reel of like, now everything is great again, now everything's perfect. And the whole last year can just be essentially wiped away because now he's home. It's not going to be like that at all. I'm so glad that you brought that up because as someone who is experiencing their first deployment, I know these whole markers and these milestones that are coming, but at the same time, like I still haven't experienced that myself and I don't actually know how it's going to be, how I'm going to react. I can imagine. And I might fall in line in some way to what I imagined, but he might not, you know, like there could be curve balls, there could be wrenches.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (08:56):
So it's, it's easy for me to imagine these milestones and these, these kind of like hallmarkers of a deployment. But that, I'm so glad you brought that up, Rachel, because first of all, this is, this is not like a combat deployment, so he's not returning with like a unit or anything like that. He's coming home by himself. So this is already not going to be what I pictured. It's going to be one person coming down the escalator at the airport. Like, that's what it's going to be. There's no like celebration or, you know music or, or other families around or anything like that. So it's already off base from what I see,
Rachel Carpenter (09:38):
You know, what though they usually are like, I hate to say it like, cause my husband's career is a lot like that. Sometimes it's smaller groups of people that are just going. And so sometimes it's just me there and that's it. But even the first appointment that he had it was at Fort Campbell and it was the hundred first. And so, you know, that's a huge, big celebration. And I was told the time is like, they get in at like X, you know, this time. And so I'm getting ready and mind you, I am like seven months pregnant. I'm huge pregnant and I'm taken forever and I get a phone call and they're like, just kidding. They get here in like 15 minutes. And I was like, oh my gosh. So I'm like running out the door, you know, trying to hurry and get there.
Rachel Carpenter (10:25):
And I get there and there's all these people coming off a plane and everybody's got signs. I don't have any signs. Cause I'm like, I I'm lucky. My I'm like enclosed at this point, like seriously. And so I'm looking and looking, I can't find them anywhere. And I'm like, you have that moment where you're like, I'm going to know who he or she is. As soon as I see him and that didn't happen. He totally got brought somewhere else. Like, so it wasn't me. He wasn't there. So our homecoming was a bunch of people in a van and he just kind of walks out and gets in our car and was like, hi and
Jayla Rae Ardelean (11:02):
Anti-Climactic
Rachel Carpenter (11:02):
Oh, I know. But like making that picture in your head, it would be great if it was. But knowing ahead of time of like, this might not happen the way I picture it is so good because then you're not going to be disappointed. You're just going to be like, I'm just glad they're here. Like that's, you know, that's all you care about at the end of the day.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (11:20):
And it's really back to the like being true to what's actually happening that like they are returning, that's all that's happening in that moment. And oh gosh, even, even the videos or the photos that I have seen where it is like that classic homecoming and there's a celebration and there's families everywhere and it's, everybody's in uniform and you can't tell anybody apart. And then suddenly, you know, your spouse is right in front of you or whatever. There's all this stuff that I have in my mind that I've seen of these other experiences. I like, isn't it also awkward. I mean, you've had, so it's a, it's a year apart, right? I mean, if you've had an RNR, that's great. And I know that we're going to get one and that's going to be awesome, but like, you haven't like kissed or held each other in such a long time. And I'm not suggesting that you forget how to do that, but like the first time that you do it after having not done it for months and months and months on end, isn't it awkward? Like, isn't it weird,
Rachel Carpenter (12:27):
You know, a little bit I think when like deployments like combat deployments and everything first started, it was such a cool thing because everybody, you know, you'd be in an airport or something and people, you know, just thought it was so great. But now as we've kind of like tapered off and we have more things kind of like where it's just you or a couple people going on deployment, it's not quite as big as it used to be. And so I actually kind of prefer that anyways. I know sometimes like my husband has been like, you know, I wish there was more people here I'm like, I am actually glad that there's not a whole bunch of people here because it's just an audience. Yeah. I'm like, it's just, you know, it's emotional anyways. And it's a little awkward. And so, you know, you don't need like camera's right here or anything like you just, you just want to get them and take them home and know that they're okay. And that's really all that matters. Yeah.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (13:18):
Yeah. Oh, so true. So true. I'm glad we like talked about that for a minute because I've been picturing this and I'm like, I don't, yeah, this is not going to happen.
Rachel Carpenter (13:27):
I know you might be surprised. It might, you know, something just hallmark movie worthy might happen, but it might not. And so as long as, you know, you get your person back, that's all that really matters. Yeah. It's
Jayla Rae Ardelean (13:41):
You say it like that because I am so guilty of picturing myself as like the star of a movie or those like hallmark movie moments, because I'm such a daydreamer and this goes, this totally goes into any grammar language as well. Cause I'm like a type four. And like, this is, I'm like, you know, these like romantic moments are what I live and thrive for. And I always picture them differently than what actually happens. Sort of like idealized wins. So at least I'm self-aware. And I know that I'm idealizing this moment and it probably won't happen that way, but yeah, you're right. It's like picturing yourself in a romantic comedy or drama, even this big reunion moment that goes perfectly and he sweeps you off your feet and then you go home and everything's great.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (14:39):
But speaking of going home and everything is great since you've been through this quite a few times I would love to know how the reintegration process is for you. I know there are a lot of spouses out there and potentially the military mom collective who are spending more time talking about reintegration, then I think I've ever seen. Yeah. So that's great. I want more and more people to be, to be talking about this. But yeah, I'd love to know what your experience with that was maybe how different it was deployment to deploy.
Rachel Carpenter (15:14):
Oh yeah. So like the first deployment, like I said, it was back in 2003 that he ever went on. Like I had no prep like they, and they didn't even really do. They did some prep for them coming back, but they didn't really either, it was more, you know, military just where it's like, Hey, you turn in your stuff here and you go here and you have this much leave. I didn't really know what to expect. I was just so excited to have this person back, but this person has gone to a war or they have, you know, gone and they've been isolated and you know, they're with their team and they've lived in this team for a while. And now they're back with you. It's, it's a whole different ball game. And then as the years have gone by and we did different deployments they later on and I think it was because they started to notice that things were kind of rough for people coming back.
Rachel Carpenter (16:05):
They started doing those like, and I don't know if they still do. I'm like where I know with combat ones, they would send them to like Germany and they would have to do like a three day, like reintegration brief. And then I've been a key spouse and I know that we were given training and like information to hand out to people about how to like reintegrate. And I always thought it was kind of cheesy a little bit, but it's actually like relevant because as we said, it's, you're taking two people who have lived apart for a while or sometimes kids or animals or anything. And you're trying to put it back all together and you have to kind of shatter that idea that they just come home and that's it. It's like, Hmm, no, there's a process. There's some time, you know? So I would say every, deployment's been a little bit different.
Rachel Carpenter (16:54):
Sometimes it's been really easy and it's just kind of, you know, right back in other times it's taken weeks, it's taken months, even for us to finally feel kind of like ourselves again. And then I feel like you're not even really yourself because military life means that they're training a lot and they're gone a lot. And so it's just, it's all relative. But I would say the hardest part is learning to communicate really effectively with each other again, because you can hang up on somebody if you're really mad at them and they, you know, live around the world or you can ignore somebody's phone calls, but when they're right in front of you, you don't have a choice. You have to make it work.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (17:38):
No, I totally hear what you're saying there for sure. And I'm just anticipating this reintegration. But like you said earlier, it's basically like we're going to PCs the, not the minute he gets home basically, then we will have already been prepping for a PCs before he even comes back home. Well, I kind of wondered if that is going to be a benefit to us because it'll shake things up to where it's like, okay, you're returning home, but you're not necessarily returning to a routine. That's going to stay that routine. Yeah. Actually also about to shift.
Rachel Carpenter (18:17):
So, I mean, I've done that a few times. I will honestly say that your stress level is going to be up because I mean, anytime you have to move, it's, it's stressful even under the best of circumstances. But you're right. Like, because it's not your normal routine and it's almost like you get to start over with this person in a different place. And so you get to kind of, re-establish a lot of that, that last Korea year that I talked about was not like that we didn't move after that I had moved with, we were in Germany, her husband had to go to Korea. Our follow-on was in Hawaii, the kids and I moved there ahead of him. So when he got back, everything was done. Like everything's set up. It's nice. But again, it was a year of us being really established in one place. And then it's almost like somebody comes in and I'm like, don't, don't touch that. Don't change this. Don't do any, you know, like that's not yours. I mean, really. And so this was a harder integration just for that reason. So I guess yeah. Sometimes when you have to move right after it is it kind of shakes everybody up, but there's definitely an element of stress there as well.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (19:27):
Yeah. Well I think too and like you said, moving is stressful even under the best of circumstances, but I mean there's a chance that this PCS is actually international and Ooh, we all know that an international PCs and a state-side PCS are still both very stressful and contain a lot of the same component, different, but totally different, right. Same components, same base. But then there's like a whole other set of tasks and things to complete when you go overseas. So I'm just kind of like waiting to hear like, is it going to be like that? Is it not going to be like that? So a lot, a lot coming up for us next year when,
Rachel Carpenter (20:15):
That's exciting though!
Jayla Rae Ardelean (20:18):
No, I'm, I'm so excited and I'm glad that I will have time to settle into it and kind of accept it before we, before we start. We, and just a little bit of background for everybody who's listening too. And for Rachel we got together and we had been moving every 10 or 12 months for the first, what, three or four years of our relationship. We moved six times, but I can't remember in how many like in-house, we've been together for over five years. Okay. I don't even know you guys. I don't know. I don't know how to count. We were moving a lot in the first year relationship. And then we came here to San Antonio and by the time we leave, we will have been here for three years. So this was our first like stable assignment together. We had been so used to relocating all the time and I can tell you that I don't really want to leave. If it had only been a year, like, obviously I'd be ready to go, because that was the expectation. We first came here and we thought we might be here for only two. And then we found out, no, it's actually going to be three. And I was like, dang, this, this PCS cycle is going to be rough. I'm comfortable. I'm going to be, I'm going to be settled in and I'm not going to want to go anywhere. And that's exactly what's happening.
Rachel Carpenter (21:54):
Yeah. Yeah. It's funny how that works. You're either like they're too short and then you're like, oh, it's really, really hard because we haven't been here that long and it's stressful. Or you're like, oh, I was here too long and now I'm too connected and it's really, really hard for totally different reasons.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (22:08):
Right, right. And that's 100% how I feel. And I, this is also our first time that we've had like a home together. We own this home that we'll either sell or rent out we'll move. But we had been in apartments together. So, and this is like a five bedroom home. And mind you, this is Texas. This is like a lower cost of living. I say a five bedroom home with a pool and people are like, y'all are rich. And I'm like, no, no.
Rachel Carpenter (22:36):
Different areas.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (22:38):
Different areas. And also, yes, we both work. So, you know, we, we have some money, but like this, yeah. I, we won't get this again. I feel like until we retire, like this was it to have a five bedroom home. Especially when we know we're going to be alternating between like, you know, overseas and stateside. So yeah, I got way too comfortable, way too comfortable.
Rachel Carpenter (23:04):
Yeah. But overseas is such an amazing experience. Like it, it doesn't matter where you are. It's just awesome. You won't you'll have totally different, like new, exciting things that you'll be like, I don't need that five bedroom house. I have like all these cool things that I did.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (23:21):
Oh yeah. And you know what, Rachel, I'm going to reach out to you when that happens and we are overseas and I'd be like, oh, it's like how it was before we've been we've been to Italy together and we've been to Guatemala together. And I I mean, I love each of those experiences for what they were. And again, they were like apartment situations and not big spacious things where we could have all of our stuff in one place and nothing in storage, which is a whole other topic. But anyway so I've been asking everybody this question and maybe I should rephrase it a little bit differently, but maybe I won't. I, I just think it's really important that as we, military spouses are connecting with one another and we're sharing our stories, like whether it be on a blog like Military Mom Collective, or like on a podcast like this, where we can have these open and honest conversations I think it's really important to extend permission to other military spouses to be just as they are, or to feel just as they are, or to do XYZ. And sometimes we do that, like indirectly, like we share the story and someone takes the piece of wisdom they needed from it. Whether we meant it that way or not, or sometimes it's more literal and it's just like, no, I give you permission to do this thing or to not do this thing. So I just wonder what you would share keeping all of that in mind.
Rachel Carpenter (25:03):
I, I never feel like I have like the wisdom and then people have to remind me that I've, I've done a little bit. Yeah. And so
Jayla Rae Ardelean (25:11):
No, I wish she could see my face. Like my jaw just dropped, like, no, you definitely have the wisdom.
Rachel Carpenter (25:18):
I think the biggest thing that I tell people cause like I said, I've been a key spouse. I've been involved in the military for so long as I'm like, first of all, there's no right or wrong way to do a deployment. There just isn't, it looks different for everybody. You don't have to be super involved with like your military, like squadron or family or whatever. You don't have to work. You don't have to stay at that duty station if you don't want to go home, like go, you know, live with family. If you want to. I think a lot of people get really judgmental about it and they're like, oh, you need to stay there and you know, tough it out. Or you just need to do this or do that. There is no right or wrong way to do it because it's just about getting through it.
Rachel Carpenter (26:01):
It's hard for everyone. And it's, you know, do what you have to do. And then two, I have the same thought about, you know, homecoming and reintegration there is, I'm sure that there are wrong ways to do it, but I'm not going to tell you it's wrong. I'm just going to say that there's no like textbook right answer on how it goes. It really depends on the two of you and your family. It depends on what your situation is. And then my last one is reach out for support. And I don't mean go, you know, talk to your friends of course, but if you are struggling, if your service member is struggling I know that there's a stigma there and there's a, you know, like again, we can tough this out. Don't tough it out. Just go get help. I'm a huge supporter of therapy. I feel like everybody should be in therapy. It's amazing. But reach out and get support. I've gotten help for myself. My kids have had trouble sometimes, you know, with dad being gone or dad coming home. And so don't do it alone and there's more resources now than there were 10-15 years ago. And there's hopefully going to be even more five or 10 years from now. So just reach out and, you know, talk to other people.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (27:17):
Absolutely. And I said this on Instagram, but I'll share it here just in case it was missed. And also if you're listening to this, you know, a year or two after this release, because it's always going to be relevant. Doctor on Demand is an app and this episode is in no way sponsored by them, but like they make it super easy for you to schedule a therapy session. And just like Rachel said, reaching out and like garnering that support is so, so important. And I am currently going through that, embodying that doing my best knowing when I'm not doing really well, I'm not really coping. I'm not I'm just experiencing a lot of symptoms of situational depression. I feel like I'm coming out now, but you know, this is month four. So like month three was. Yeah, that was, that was some rough times. But that's one of, that's one of the resources that you might try and they make it really easy to plug in the fact that you have Tricare insurance and then they tell you exactly what you're allotted to. It's free. And then you do the therapy.
Rachel Carpenter (28:26):
Yeah, I will say too. And this is not a plug for them either, but I did an interview with a clinician for a veteran Cohen's at work and or Cohen Veterans Network. I'm sorry. And they are pretty amazing too. They'll do, you know, virtual appointments they'll do in person, they have clinics, not everywhere, but kind of, if they're in your state, they will do a virtual appointment with you. And so there are another really easy way to get those services for free. I mean, it doesn't then that's anything.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (28:55):
And I, so I didn't even know that this is, oh, I hate admitting this because it makes me sound like a horrible researcher. And like, I don't know what I'm doing. But I didn't know what I was doing. Two years ago, I first tried to figure out how to get therapy covered by insurance specifically because military life is so hard and so challenging, and couldn't figure it out, did it wrong and thought, well, that was my shot. That's just how it is. But there are, there are so many tools out there. And that's why it's important to like literally tell everybody, you know, when you do find a great tool. So if you know, yeah, if you are listening and you have one be open and share that with people and just, just share it because you never know whose life you're impacting by making a tool more readily accessible to them. Like you've done research. You did the - now just share it,
Rachel Carpenter (30:00):
Shout it to everyone. It will say I'll add one more thing. Cause I totally thought about it as we were talking. I really encourage people to not be judgmental of like other spouses when you're doing deployments. Because I will freely admit I was. There were some times where people would complain to me that, you know, their service member was gone for a weekend and in my head I'm going, like you're doing a weekend. I'm on like month three of this, you know? And don't, don't talk to me about how hard is this. Everybody's heart is different. And I think you just get that wisdom as you grow older maybe, or you've done this a little bit longer, but part is different for everybody. And sometimes for some people that one weekend, a month that they're gone is terrible and it's just, it's unbearable. And some people are very used to long separations and they're like, oh, a month, that's fine. I can do that. There's no, I mean, no judgment at all. And I know that that's kind of a natural reaction we all have, is to try and judge and compare, try really hard not to because you just don't know what's going on in someone else's life or how it's affecting them.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (31:05):
Exactly. And I just talked about this with Trinity, who's also featured on the podcast because it's not just about the length of time that they're gone and the military circumstance that that person is going through. You also have to remember that they have different life circumstances than you do. We all have our own crap going on that may have nothing to do with the military. That person's weekend may have been really hard because their spouse was gone. Their mom was in trouble. Their sister was doing some crazy stuff or like a friend of theirs was really like, was really upset and needed help. They had a work crisis, all those things that have nothing to do with military life. It's, it's the life circumstances that when those come in and military life is thrown on top of that, I think they compound. And that's what makes things so hard.
Rachel Carpenter (31:59):
Yeah. We joke about that about like Murphy's law of deployment, where like, you know, anything that could go wrong will go wrong. The minute that your service members gone. And I mean, there is some truth to that, but at the same time, that's just life. I mean, life doesn't stop because your service member is deployed or their team or wherever they are and you eventually figure it out. But sometimes there's a little growing pains in there where you are not figuring it out and it's hard and that's okay. That's that is unfortunately how life rolls and you know, again, that's where you have to reach out to people and you have to get that support.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (32:35):
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much, Rachel. I really loved everything that you had to share today. So is there anything else that you'd like to share with this audience? Any like free offers or things that are coming up regarding Military Mom Collective?
Rachel Carpenter (32:52):
Well, I'll say like generally at the mom collective it's the military mom collective. We try really, really hard to be as inclusive to everybody. We love all service branches. It doesn't matter if your spouse has been in for one day or are they being retired for 15 years?.We don't care. We just really like to have that community and that support. So I encourage you guys to head over there. We say, you know, join the conversation, come tell us what you want to see and what you want to read about. But right now we have a holiday gift guide. It's our fifth one which is it. I get so excited every year when we put it out, we try really hard to feature military spouse-owned businesses and veteran-owned businesses. And everything in our guide is just picked by us that we think would make great gifts for your family and friends or for yourself if you're shopping for yourself. So I encourage you to head on over to our site and check it out and, you know, support a small business support, a military spouse or a veteran who's, you know, just trying to grow this brand or this company. And we appreciate your support.
Jayla Rae Ardelean (33:58):
Amazing. Thank you so, so much for being here and yeah, I will see it see around in the AMSE space and Thanks again for being here.
Rachel Carpenter (34:10):
Thank you. Bye.