The Reintegration Episode: 4 Strategies to Improve Your Relationship
Welcome back to the deployment series (where The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast began in 2021 ❤️)!
Our reintegration period isn't exactly over yet, but in this episode you'll hear how it started, and where are marriage is now.
Though we had to huddle together to successfully PCS overseas and take on my step kids on full time in summer 2022, we had a huge obstacle to overcome:
We had just been apart for 11 months while he was deployed, and were struggling to work together. We went through a rough patch, and I'm giving you a behind the scenes look into why! (Hint: military life is ridiculous sometimes.)
In this episode, I give you 4 strategies to improve your relationship that worked for us, and why hiring support was so necessary.
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In this episode I mention Military Marriage Coach, Dr. Lindsay Cavanagh.
Check out her work here: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/
Hear Lindsay as a guest on The Heart of a Milspouse Pod:
Hear me on Lindsay's podcast, Married to Military™:
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! I love DMs! @mil.spouse
Deployment Recap (One Year Anniversary of The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast)
Welcome to the Deployment Recap episode! ❤️
I began this podcast as a way to record my experience of a 12-month-long deployment, and along the way it turned into so much more!
In this episode you will hear clips from chosen episodes from the Deployment Series, including a reintegration update at the end.
Thank you for listening to the podcast for one whole year - we're celebrating its first anniversary together! 🎉
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Consider supporting the podcast by buying me a ☕️ here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jaylarae
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Catch the full episodes below:
➡️ T-Minus 3 Days Until Deployment
➡️ Promotion During Deployment
✨TOP EPISODE✨ How to Approach Traumatic Events During Deployment
➡️ How to Set Homecoming Expectations
➡️ How to Cope With Isolation During Deployment
➡️ Why I Abandoned a Weekly Deployment Countdown
➡️ How to Approach Deployment When Your Love Language is Quality Time
➡️ 3 Days to Deployment Homecoming
Includes an UPDATE ➡️ ➡️ 5 Weeks Into Reintegration!
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
3 Days to Deployment Homecoming
I captured all of the feelings and worries leading up to homecoming in this episode! It's been a wild ride preparing for him to come home after 11 months of being gone. But what's consuming my headspace may not be what you expect.
Support the podcast here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jaylarae
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
How to Make the Most of R&R and our Vow Renewal Story
Preparing for a 3-week R&R (Rest & Recovery) during this deployment presented a few challenges, and I'm going to share it all with you!
Plus, our vow renewal story in Vegas, because hello--that was a huge part of it all! ♥️
In this episode I mention AMSE, Association of Military Spouse Entrepreneurs.
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
What it's Like to Mix PCS Season With Deployment
Welcome to a candid and jam-packed conversation with Certified Life Coach, Kayla Lyon. Kayla and I discuss what it's like to make the ultimate military life cocktail: 1 part PCS, 1 part deployment. Join us as we answer the question, "How do we even do this?" when the responsibility to move falls mostly on us as milspouses while our spouses are deployed.
Hint: we will always figure it out!
In this episode, we mention Tricare-covered therapy by Doctor on Demand and the Enneagram (are you shocked?); get your free Enneagram Milspouse Guide here.
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Kayla Lyon is a Navy veteran, Marine wife, Mom to 3 kids under 4, and a Certified Life Coach. She helps military spouses love this crazy life now, instead of just counting down to retirement. Her unique perspective of both the service member and the spouse, combined with her training and experience as a Certified Life Coach allows her to understand where her clients are stuck and help them actually get to where they want to go, no shear will power and intense discipline required.
Find her in all the places:
FB: @kaylamjlyon
IG: @kaylamjlyon
Website: https://kaylalyon.com/
Learn more: https://kaylalyon.com/moneymindsetguide/
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
What Instagram Gets Wrong About the Enneagram
What is Instagram getting wrong about the Enneagram? Well in short, it's the DEPTH! Those frilly "what each type orders for coffee" posts are sometimes fun to play around with - but those pieces of content are not learning tools. In this episode we talk about how to discern which accounts are keeping this personality framework in integrity, and the (3) main components of the Enneagram to keep in mind.
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor, Speaker, and Writer.
Grab your ♥️free♥️ enneagram resource here: jaylarae.com/enneagram
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
Why I Abandoned a Weekly Deployment Countdown
We've all heard it right? That a deployment countdown is what saves you, keeps things in perspective, and passes the time? ...Well around the third month of this year long deployment, I noticed that daily and weekly countdowns began to work against me. Sharing my POV in case it's useful to you!
In this episode I mention Brave Crate*, a deployment monthly subscription box that's helped my countdown go faster.
*affiliate link
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
How to Approach Deployment When Your Love Language is Quality Time
Y'all I know deployment is tough when your love language is quality time and it's the very thing you don't receive consistently throughout the experience! (This is my love language, too.) Hear stories, one tip, and the one thing I've avoided talking about on this podcast, but the bubble has now bursted!
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Milspouse Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
How to Cope With Isolation During Deployment
If you're out there feeling the impact of isolation during deployment, I see you and I hope this story helps! I'm just a DM away.
♥️
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
How to Handle the Post-Holiday Blues During Deployment
Now that the holidays have passed, and we're a couple weeks into the New Year, those post-holiday blues may have found you. Personally, I'm feeling lonely again after having been surrounded by family for weeks on end, and coming home to an empty house. These are the times when the reality of deployment and being apart from your person feel disorienting, and painful to face.
I have one tip for you in this episode, and I hope it helps! ❤️
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Want to be a guest on The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast? I would love to have you on for an open, honest conversation about what deployment is like from your perspective.
Fill out the form here:
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! I love DM's @mil.spouse
Memory Keeping Strategies During Deployment With Emma Furlong
In this episode you will learn some helpful tools + strategies for organizing your memories during deployment - this includes photos and videos! Emma of Love and Reverie can help teach you how to keep your media libraries organized during a time like deployment, when most everything feels chaotic.
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Emma is a military spouse and mom of 2, ages 4 and 6. She is passionate passionate about documenting her family and creating family photo albums and films, keeping them connected whether they are together or apart. She is Owner of Love & Reverie. And her favorite thing to do is spend as much time as possible outside exploring with her kiddos!
Find her on social:
Learn more:
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
Milspouse Self-Advocacy During Deployment with Manda Lynn McVey
How does self-advocacy come into play during deployment? Well get ready for an abundance of resources, tips, and honesty in my conversation with Holistic Wellness Practitioner, Manda Lynn! We chat about what it means for a milspouse to take charge and be their own health + financial advocate, how to apply for scholarships (and why even take the time!), and we bond over our Late Career Milspouse similarities.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
ThriveMarket - free memberships for special dietary needs
Doctor on Demand - for therapy + psychiatry
Army Emergency Relief (AER) - financial assistance + scholarships
Chaplains - counseling for times of separation or transitions
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Manda Lynn McVey is a Holistic Wellness Practitioner and Spouse Master Resilience Trainer leading military spouses to reconnect with their intuition in order to achieve overall wellness and resilience through a variety of modalities. She is also a behavior change specialist, fitness nutrition educator, writer, speaker, chef, and yoga & meditation instructor.
Find Manda Lynn on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn : @thehealitaryspouse
Learn more: thehealitaryspouse.com
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
Promotion During Deployment + What's Coming
Surprise! 🎉
Unplanned episode that was recorded and released asap. Today my husband was promoted while overseas on deployment, and I just had to share. Then I branch off to talk about a shift you'll start to see from me online based on a realization I had.
Learn who said this statement that stuck with me: "I want to learn from the learners." ♥️
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In this episode I mention:
@sarajanecase @theenneagramworkshop iEQ9 Certification Program
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
How to Set Homecoming Expectations With Rachel Carpenter
Join me and Rachel for a candid conversation in answering this question:
Are homecomings everything I imagine them to be?
In this episode we dip into Rachel's long history as an Air Force Spouse, and with how many deployments she's been through--you are bound to find a nugget of wisdom! We discuss a few key takeaways she has when it comes to setting expectations around homecomings. You also get to hear what I'm anticipating for own homecoming, which is 7-8 months away!
In this episode we mention:
Military Mom CollectiveHOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE Doctor on DemandCohen Veterans NetworkAssociation of Military Spouse Entrepreneurs (AMSE)
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Rachel is the co-owner and editor of The Military Mom Collective. She has been an Air Force spouse for 18 years and is a mother of four children. They are currently on their 8th assignment and preparing for retirement in a few years. She holds a BA in English and a MA in Management. When not busy with work or her family, she enjoys reading as many books as possible and drinking all the coffee.
Find her on social below
Official: @militarymomcollective on FB, IG + LinkedIn
Personal: @rcarpenter0013 (FB + LinkedIn), @rachelwiththecoffee (IG)
Learn more
Check out the Military Mom Collective Holiday Gift Guide
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
Changing Over the Course of Deployment with Trinity Albertson
In this episode I am joined by Trinity, and trust me - this conversation will change your outlook on the process of deployment and reintegration!
We chat about the process of changing over deployment (and why that's okay!) and what it means to be two parents in the service.
Also don't miss the nifty poll on this episode via Spotify - Trinity would love to hear from you!
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Trinity Albertson is an expert and strategist in business administration and project management. She has spent most of her career working with healthcare organizations, small businesses and entrepreneurs, and professional service providers to create lucrative and sustainable organizations by transforming their delivery. As a veteran of the United States Army, and still serving as a spouse of an active-duty service member, she has experienced a journey of struggle to freedom, fulfillment, and joy.
Find her on Facebook: The Aspire Program
Find her on LinkedIn
Learn more: pathtoyoursolutions.com
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The Heart of a Milspouse Podcast is hosted by Jayla Rae Ardelean, Late Career Army Milspouse + Mentor.
Grab your ✨free✨ deployment resource here: jaylarae.com/deploymentkit
Learn more: jaylarae.com
Let's chat! @mil.spouse
Health Struggles + Solutions During Deployment with Ashleigh Magee
Join my conversation with certified wellness and life coach for military women, Ashleigh Magee!
We chat about experiencing deployment from both ends of the spectrum, setting health and wellness goals during deployment, and what piece of permission Ashleigh would like to extend to milspouses.
Also don't miss the nifty poll on this episode via Spotify - interact with Ashleigh!
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Ashleigh Magee is a certified wellness life coach and health coach for military women. Having served on active duty and being a dual-military spouse, she understands the unique challenges that face women in our community. She helps her clients create healthy habits in each of what she calls "The Four Pillars of Health," which are food, fitness, sleep, and mindset. This helps them lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle sustainably.
Find her on IG: @ashmageecoach
Learn more: ashleighmagee.com
Snag Ashleigh's free challenge: ashleighmagee.com/cleaneatingchallenge
The Pit of Deployment: Month 3
Apparently Month 3 of deployment is referred to as "the pit", and for good reason. In this episode we talk about the worst comment I've received so far regarding deployment, and why it's important to even share it here [hint: mental health].
How to Approach Traumatic Events During Deployment
In this episode I give an overview of what's been going on lately since my grandma passed away. I include some feedback I received on Instagram in preparation for this episode, and then we wrap up with one tip that I have--and there's only one because that's all I'm able to really give or provide at this time. I'm not a trauma-informed coach. I'm just a human going through a really hard time with a constellation of traumas compounding on one another.
Deployment: One Month Down, 11 to Go 🎉
In Week 4 of deployment I talk about not taking proper care of myself, and it all catching up to me. How isolating myself from others was doing more damage, and how I got myself out of the hole.
T-Minus 3 Days Until Deployment
Only 3 days from deployment and I'm kind of a wreck. I talk though our couples trip to Austin, and the push-pull dynamic I've been experiencing in our remaining time together.